


i'll give you the sun.

by orphan_account



Series: i cry sometimes about it. [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 21:52:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3826342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Niall got home he tucked the new ultrasound picture in the sides of his mirror. The whole ride home he’d spent comparing the two pictures, the one where the baby was just a blob and now to this one where it kind of looked like a tadpole. Niall wondered if it was going to be a little boy he was going to teach how to play soccer or if it was a little girl he was going to teach how to play soccer. He thought about walking around the supermarket holding his little girl or his little boy’s hand. He thought about a little boy with Harry’s eyes and his hair or a little girl with Harry’s hair and his eyes, he thought about everything.</p>
<p>Or the one where Harry gets pregnant and they're both scared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll give you the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Lost Ones by J. Cole and then I wrote a story. Title is the same as the amazing book by Jandy Neslon but has nothing to do with it whatsoever. If you forgot to read the tags this story has Mpreg in it and if that isn't your cuppa just press the back button please and thank you :-)

Niall was running legs pumping in front of him sweat beading on his forehead and the hot angry sun glaring on his skin. He could hear Louis screaming his name and he looked up, watched as Louis kicked the ball in one quick second towards him. Niall steadied it with his foot glanced up at Zayn who was coming up on his other side and Liam who was at the goalpost body moving this way and that to keep Niall from scoring. Liam was a good goalkeeper but Niall was a good soccer player and when Zayn came in thinking he was going to steal the ball Niall moved right then moved left all while keeping the ball and then he kicked it to Louis and kept running. He was nearing in on Liam who was standing there sweat dripping down his forehead as he eyed them.

Louis kicked the ball to him. Niall turned to Liam one last time and then kicked. Liam dove right but the ball went right over his shoulder and into the goal.

“Yes!” Niall screamed pumping his fist and laughing as Louis rammed him into a hug. It may have been a practice game but it was still a game.

“That was good, lads.” Coach Cowell said nodding at Niall and Niall grinned. Coach Cowell didn’t praise people often and when he did it was special. Niall peeled his shirt off and was about to turn to Louis and ask him where they were going to have lunch when a figure on the bleachers caught his attention. He faltered a bit. Harry Styles was sitting on the bleachers alone. Harry Styles alone was a shocker in and of itself. Harry Styles the only male cheerleader Lakeview had seen in ten years was never alone, popularity just came to him naturally and he was always seen with at least another cheerleader but there he was. And Niall knew who he was there for.

“You alright?” Liam asked thumping him on the shoulder.

“Yeah I’m fine. Wait for me yeah?” Niall said to them. The boys nodded at him strangely and then made their way towards the locker room. Saturday afternoon soccer practices had been Niall, Liam, Louis, and Zayn’s thing since freshman year and Niall had never once seen Harry waiting for him on the bleachers he would’ve noticed. Niall suddenly thought about what they’d done a couple weeks ago and he felt himself blushing. He kicked himself slowly told himself to be cool. Harry was gorgeous and Niall was awkward.

Niall made his way towards the bleachers, up the steps, until he was right there in front of Harry. Harry who was in a jumper even though they were in Florida and it was about ninety nine degrees out. He was on his phone but when he felt Niall’s presence he looked up green eyes catching blue.

“Hey.” Niall said a little confused.

“Hi.” Harry said back like this was a normal occurrence. He set his phone down. “We need to talk.”

“I figured.” Niall replied licking his lips trying not to look Harry up and down.

“You should maybe sit down.” Harry added and Niall blinked staring down at him suddenly getting a bit worried. What was so important that Harry actually had to come to his soccer practice and wait for him? They did not socialize in school Niall’s friends didn’t even know he liked boys like that. Niall sat down slowly so that he was straddling the bleacher one leg on each side. Harry turned his head slightly. Niall thought he looked so fucking stunning, long eye lashes fanning his cheeks. Niall pinched his thigh.

“Is everything okay?” Niall asked him when Harry didn’t say anything. Harry bit his bottom lip, ran a hand through his usually impeccable hair, and then shrugged.

“I don’t think so.” He said.

“Do you have an STD?” Niall suddenly blurted breaking into a cold sweat. They hadn’t used a condom after all.

“No.” Harry said still not looking at him. Niall didn’t move because he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if to freak out or cry or be scared or whatever he just knew that whatever Harry was going to say it would fuck Niall up.

“Harry, I’m kind of scared.” Niall finally said when he didn’t say anything. It was just them and the silver hot bleachers and the beach somewhere in the background and Niall’s insides were falling away brick by brick.

“I’m pregnant.” Harry finally said. Just blurted it out like that. No warning or nothing. Niall stared at him. He snorted and then the snort turned into a giggle and then a full blow laugh coming right out of him because what the fucking fuck?

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” Niall suddenly hissed leaning in so that he was right in Harry’s face so that he could smell Harry’s shampoo that made him think back to that night and his face buried in Harry’s hair. Harry’s pink tongue slipped out to lick his bottom lip. He looked absolutely petrified and Niall felt like his skin was about to crawl right off of his bones. “Harry.” He hissed again.

“I’m pregnant.”

“You’re joking.”

“I already went to the clinic. My sister took me. I’m so scared.” Harry said blinking quickly. Niall could feel all the blood rushing to his head like he had been held under water for a while and now he had resurfaced.

“A-and you’re positive?” Niall asked didn’t know how Harry wasn’t crying right now because Niall was positive he was going to. He was sixteen, junior year had barely even started, and he had his whole life planned. What the hell did Harry mean he was pregnant?

“Yeah.” Harry said softly and then lifted his butt off the bleachers a little, pulled something out of his pocket. It was a folded piece of paper and when he handed it to Niall he realized that it wasn’t a piece of paper at all it was a photograph and when Niall unfolded it he realized it was an ultrasound. Niall could barely make out anything it was just a black and white blob but there it was. Their baby. He felt his pulse quicken and he bit the inside of his cheek.

“W-what’re we gonna do?” Niall asked breathlessly still staring down at the picture thinking of this baby this little creation of theirs. But he was fucking scared shitless because it was a baby it was a real thing. They were sixteen and it was obvious Harry was scared and god Niall wanted to throw up and it may have been incredible and nice and soft but realistically how was this even going to be a thing that they were going to do?

“I don’t know yet. I don’t know anything.” Harry said taking the picture back from him. Niall watched him fold it back up. “And your friends are waiting for you.” He said gently and Niall looked up at him at this perfect boy with those perfect eyes who Niall had been falling in love with since they were fucking four. Niall didn’t even know when being around Harry had gone from puppy love to something way more mature than that but he thinks maybe it was somewhere in the beginning of sophomore year when Niall started giving Harry rides to school after his car broke down for some time, maybe it was the kisses they used to sneak during study hall.

But now they were fucked. Because this wasn’t kisses and stolen glances and cuddles when parents were out of town this was real. Niall finally stood up when he realized Harry was.

“We’ll talk about this later.” Harry said easily like they were talking about the weather. “I just needed to let you know.”

“Okay.” Niall said because he didn’t know what else there was to say. Harry nodded slowly and then bit his thumbnail a nervous habit that Niall had picked up from him. When Niall didn’t say anything Harry nodded once more than turned around, stepped down from the bleachers slowly.

“Wait.” Niall heard himself say. Harry stopped walking abruptly and turned around. “Can I have it? The ultrasound picture?” He asked. He thought about the black and white blob and the fact that it was his baby and the visual of Harry laying there on some bed with some jelly his stomach and some doctor showing him his baby. Niall wondered if the baby was big enough to have a heartbeat yet. He tried to conjure up what he had learned in freshman sex ed but he couldn’t.

“Okay.” Harry said with a small nod, pulled the neatly folded picture from his back pocket, and then handed it to Niall. Niall’s finger grazed the tattoo on Harry’s hand as he took it. “We’ll talk.” Harry said finally and before Niall could reply he was turning and walking quicker this time until he became a barely recognizable shadow. Niall was still standing there.

\--

Niall was at a booth in McDonalds with his friends with the ultrasound picture burning a hole in his back pocket. After he’d finally gotten over the shock and showered and shoved his clothes on he put the ultrasound in his wallet. He kept thinking about Harry and the look on Harry’s face when he told him and how much Niall adored him and loved him and how things were going to switch up for them now because eventually Harry would start showing and eventually Niall would have to fucking man up and be a dad and it was just… things were scarier than they had ever been before. He was in a place far from complicated right now.

“Dude, you have been zoning out since the soccer game what’s up?” Louis asked chucking a fry at his face. Niall blinked and rubbed his eye.

“Sorry guys I’m just tired.”

“You weren’t tired on the field and you’re always so hype after you win… even if it’s a fake game.” Zayn said with a grin. Niall glanced from Louis to Zayn to Liam wondered how his friends would react if he just blurted it out right now. “I’m bi.” He couldn’t even picture their reactions and he’d known the boys since they were kids.

The conversation turned from Niall and his problems to some party that Liam’s girlfriend, Sophia was throwing. Niall wondered how easy it would be to be in love with a girl but god when he thought of being in love with someone it was just Harry all of it was Harry. And now a baby.

\--

Harry lived up the street from him and as soon as Niall pulled up his car in the driveway he could see Harry’s light turned on in his room. His blinds were pulled close though like they always were. Niall knew there was no point in checking in with his parents not when all he would get was his mom and her issues and his father nowhere to be found. His father was like that very transient only coming when he wanted to going in and out of his life. Niall sometimes forgot how his face even looked like.

His father wasn’t a daddy type wasn’t the kind to bring gifts or try to relate he was just a hurricane liked to come in and blow things away preferably Niall’s mother. And Niall didn’t want to be around for when she forgave him and he did her the same like he always did with no remorse.

So Niall walked down the street and up to Harry’s front door. The only cars in the driveways were his and his sisters knew that Harry’s mother worked late nights at the hospital and his sister didn’t really care what Harry did. It took a while before the door opened and Niall saw Harry again. Harry who looked ridiculously pale and who was in pajamas. Niall glanced down at his stomach then up at his face.

“Hey.” Niall said. He wanted to reach in and kiss him and hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay because it was obvious that was what he needed right now but Niall wasn’t a liar and he didn’t know anything most specifically he didn’t know if anything even was going to be okay.

“Come in.” Harry pushed the door open a little and Niall stepped inside and stood there right in the middle of his living room. The last time he’d been in Harry’s house they’d had sex for the first time since they’d started whatever the thing was they’d been doing. And now Harry was pregnant. Niall couldn’t get over that. Pregnant pregnant pregnant. Shit. How did people even deal with things like this? Niall didn’t even have a job. “You wanna go up to my room?” Harry asked him.

“Yeah that sounds good.” Niall said and he followed Harry up. Didn’t talk or anything like that. The door to Gemma’s bedroom was closed and Harry opened his, disappeared inside and Niall right after him. Harry had tea on his computer desk and he had his laptop on his bed open to some Web Md page which Niall didn’t understand. Niall took a seat on the computer chair and Harry sat on the bed, curling his legs under him.

“This is weird.” Harry said tucking a stray curl behind his ear.

“Petrifying would be the word I’d use.” Niall shrugged a bit leaning back into the chair even though he was far from comfortable.

“Imagine having it growing in you.” Harry said looking down at his stomach. He sighed and then sniffled. “I don’t think its hit me yet you know like what’s happening isn’t even real to me. I’ve been disconnecting myself from this as best as I could since this morning.” Harry said this all in a tired soft voice still staring down at his stomach like he was ashamed. Niall didn’t even know reality from fantasy he didn’t even know what was going on or what to believe or anything. He just knew he was scared for Harry and for this baby and for himself because honestly they were kids fucking stupid kids who maybe were in love but were still very very very stupid and now there was another kid. And that was just so fucking much to handle.

“Do you want to keep it?” Niall asked because at the end of the day Harry was carrying it and Niall couldn’t really ask him to do anything he didn’t want to. And Niall didn’t even know what he wanted. Niall wasn’t even out yet hadn’t even planned to come out for a while.

“I don’t know what the hell I wanna do with it. I’m supposed to be making a routine for my cheer squad instead I’m sitting here swallowing down prenatal vitamins and trying not to go out of my fucking mind.” And that was when Harry broke down when the stoic soft expression scrunched up and his face turned red and the tears started coming. It was like once they started they couldn’t stop and Niall was moving on autopilot when he crawled into the bed with Harry and scooped him into his arms, let Harry curl into him and sob and curse and blame everything on Niall. That was okay because fuck Niall would be blaming himself too. “I’m so fucking scared, Niall.” Harry sighed breathing wetly.

“Me too.” Niall replied. “I’m scared too.”

After that they sat there for a little while Harry tries to calm down and Niall tries to be cool for the both of them. Everything was tense and his stomach had been clenched tight since Harry told him about the baby. Niall thought maybe he should stop calling it a baby just in case Harry didn’t want it.

“We have to tell our parents.” Niall heard himself say. He tried his hardest to picture his mom’s reaction (because she was the only one that mattered) but he couldn’t. All he could see was disappointment and god he hated that look.

“Do we have to?” Harry asked pulling away and looking at him. He looked scared and Niall felt scared. It was obvious neither of them knew what to do just kids playing pretend. It was like that game all kids played when they were little with the mommy and the daddy and someone had to go to work and someone had to take care of the kids but it wasn’t a game anymore.

“Yeah.” Niall said running a hand through his hair. “We do. And then we have to figure out if we’re going to even keep it.”

“Do you want it?”

“I have no fucking clue what I want at this point.”

Harry sighed, “Everything’s fucked.”

“Yeah,” Niall muttered thought about Harry’s heart of gold and the way he looked at Niall that night they had sex like Niall was supposed to protect him or something and the way Niall had felt like he could like him and Harry were going to be something real but now look where that had all gone. Niall wondered if that was how all young parents felt like before the baby they felt like maybe this thing between them could be real like something you’d tell your grandkids about but then someone got knocked up and someone ended up leaving but Niall didn’t want to be like that. He didn’t want to be the kind of dad that left his kid and only came back to fuck things up. He didn’t want to be that guy ever.

\--

On Monday morning he found himself staring at the ultrasound picture trapped inside of his car. He’d been working up the courage to look at it all weekend but he’d never actually taken it out after he’d taken it from Harry and now there it was again. He hadn’t seen Harry since Saturday night and their plan and he didn’t know how to feel or what to think. He’d seen Cher Lloyd and Perrie Edwards pick Harry up from school earlier that morning and he wondered if they knew if Harry had even told them about him and Niall. Harry was great and Niall had so fucking little to offer he wouldn’t blame Harry if he didn’t.

He wondered what would happen if Harry aborted it. He wondered if things would go back to normal but he didn’t think there would ever be a normal for them again. He wondered if Harry aborted it would there still be a them though or would shit just spiral out of control for them. And he knew that Harry keeping the baby also didn’t guarantee anything. He cursed inwardly, folded the ultrasound picture back, and then drove out of there.

The thing about not talking to Harry in school was that Niall couldn’t just ask him if he was okay or anything like that. And it wasn’t like Niall was a loser and Harry was the most popular guy in school or something like that either they were both popular in their respective groups and Niall was soccer team captain but Harry was that one out gay guy of their school and Niall didn’t like interacting with him so people didn’t get ideas. Not that the ideas would be wrong but still.

But anyways every time he saw Harry he looked fine like he always did smiling and laughing and all around being Harry. Niall wondered if the pregnancy was even real wondered if maybe Harry had fucked around with him or something like that but then Harry would catch his eye and he’d see it, the thing they both shared binding them. And Niall loved him and he was scared.

Being in love and being scared did not go hand in hand.

Harry texted him during lunch to meet him so Niall found himself ditching the soccer team and going out to the parking lot. Harry was waiting outside of his car arms crossed in front of him and mouth downturned.

“You okay?” Niall asked him softly.

“I wanna go home.” He said lowly so nobody could hear even though nobody was around. He ran a hand through his hair and Niall let him fret for a little bit.

“Why?” He finally asked.

“Because I’m not one of them anymore. Because I’m not a cheerleader anymore and things are different now and you know when I start showing everybody is going to have something to say and I can’t… I can’t be the fucking gay pregnant teenage boy here.”

“I’ll go through it with you.” Niall said reaching in for Harry but Harry jerked his hand away and narrowed his eyebrows.

“No, Niall you actually won’t. You could be responsible but you don’t have to be. Your life is fucking easy.”

“Harry,” Niall said softly but it was obvious Harry was upset.

“Shut up okay? Just shut up!” Harry took a long hard breath. “My mom is going to tell my dad and you know what my dad is going to say?” Niall didn’t say anything. “He’s going to say ‘oh not only is he a faggot but he’s pregnant too’ and you know how difficult that’s going to be for me? You’re not going through this with me; it’s just me and this baby. So take me home, Niall.”

Niall didn’t argue not when Harry looked like he was about to go on a rampage soon and not when he was looking a little green around the edges either. Niall went over to the passenger side and opened the door, Harry slid in and when Niall shut the door he rested his head on the window. Niall went to the driver’s side and pulled out of the parking lot.

“You hungry?” Niall asked when they were at a red light. Harry had kicked his shoes off and his feet were tucked under him and he had his eyes closed like he was dozing off. Niall had done some reading about pregnant people and apparently they got really tired and they threw up a lot. Niall wondered if Harry had thrown up yet and had the sudden image of Harry looking sick in his head.

“No.” Harry said voice hoarse from screaming and from crying.

When they got to Harry’s place there were no cars in the driveway so Niall went out with him both of them entering in the house. Niall wondered how many times he’d be in the house now that Harry had his baby inside of him.

In Harry’s bedroom Niall couldn’t find the courage to lie down beside him again because he kept thinking of the night and Harry crying and how things were just fucked up.

“When’s the next checkup?” Niall asked him to start a conversation and because he really wanted to know because from now until the ninth month mark he wanted to be right there next to Harry at every check up to see their baby.

“Next month.” Harry said. “September third.”

“I wanna be there you know? At all your visits to see my baby.”

Harry sighed, “Niall, I don’t even know what I’m going to do with it yet.”

“I don’t care I still want to have that.”

“Do you think it senses that we’re scared?” Harry asked lifting his shirt up a little bit to show his perfectly flat toned stomach. His abs were softening out and it looked perfect this small little round barely there bump.

“Probably not.” Niall said.

“It’s heart is growing you know? That’s what the doctor told me and by the seventh week it has a perfect little heart right inside of it.”

“Yeah?” Niall asked suddenly feeling a pang of emotion hit him. For Harry because he had it inside of him, for this baby that Niall had accidentally brought in here but that Niall loved even through the fear, and for whatever was going to happen to them.

“Yeah.” Harry said. Niall felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket and when he looked at it he realized it was his friends wondering where the hell he had gone. He let them know that he wasn’t coming back for the day then looked back at Harry whose eyes were closed and who looked so fucking peaceful.

“I’m sorry you know.” Niall said moving the computer chair closer so that he could take Harry’s hand in his. Harry looked at him.

“For what?”

“For getting you pregnant, for practically ruining your life.”

Harry snorted and shook his head, “you didn’t rape me, Niall. I was a willing participant and things are weird right now because we haven’t found our footing yet but once we figure things out it’ll seem easy.”

“That’s probably a lie right?” Niall asked with a short laugh and Harry nodded,

“Yeah. I read it somewhere and tried to memorize it but whoever said that probably wasn’t sixteen and pregnant with their whole life planned.”

“How bad do you think our parents will freak?” Niall asked thinking about the planned dinner they had with their parents tomorrow. Niall would tell his parents about Harry being pregnant and Harry would tell his. They had thought about doing it together but it was probably better to deal with the wrath first before rushing the other into it. Niall didn’t know how he was going to look his father in the eye and tell him something like that.

“If your parents are anything like my mom then they’ll freak out bad. She got pregnant with Gem when she was sixteen and she says it changed her life forever.”

“Do you think your dad would fly down here?” Niall asked thinking of Harry’s father up in London like Harry had told him one time with his new wife and their new kid. Niall didn’t get how people could just replace family like that but his father was a master at it too so what did he even expect?

Harry snorted and shut his eyes, “I never know what my dad is going to do. He’s unpredictable and I hate him.”

Niall didn’t say anything for a little bit because that was Harry’s sadness to carry and he couldn’t just ebb that away with sweet nothings. So he sat at the desk thinking of the life growing inside of Harry’s body and Harry soon fell asleep.

\--

“There better be a good reason why you’re skipping out of soccer practice.” Coach Cowell told him when he caught Niall in the parking lot about to pull his car into drive. It was the next day and Niall had to have dinner with his mom and dad to tell them the news about Harry knew that Harry was getting prepared to tell his mom too he’d gotten a text about it and everything. And soccer no matter how much he loved it seemed like nothing compared to the fact that he’d knocked up his sort of kind of boyfriend.

“Personal issues.” Niall gritted out and Cowell stared at him like he didn’t believe it.

“You’re captain for a reason, Niall.”

“I haven’t missed one practice since you appointed me captain, coach. I have to go home.”

Coach Cowell still didn’t move kept studying him like he was a lab rat but finally fucking finally he pulled away and didn’t say a word as Niall peeled out of there. His heart was going a mile a minute inside of him thinking about his mother and her grief stricken look and his father well his father Niall didn’t know about but he knew his mother would not be happy with him. He wasn’t even happy with him. This was an unfixable mistake.

He got home to the smell of cooking and to his mother singing in the kitchen. His father was on the couch feet kicked up to the coffee table watching some old baseball game. He didn’t even acknowledge Niall’s presence and Niall didn’t give a fucking crap. He made a silent prayer to himself to be nothing like his father ever not with Harry and their kid and not with anybody else.

“Hey, mom.” Niall said kissing her on the cheek when he found her frying shrimp in the kitchen.

“Hey, Nialler. What’s up, kid?” His mom asked eyes not straying from the skillet. He thought about just telling her right then and there but he couldn’t and the words just stayed inside of him.

“Nothing.” Niall said bouncing on the soles of his feet. “I gotta go wash up.” He told her quickly as he bounded up the stairs. She didn’t comment at his sudden rush.

Showers usually calmed him down enough but not then. He just kept thinking and thinking till his head started to hurt bad but all he could see was perfect Harry and his perfect dimples and then a baby and he’d read the statistics fuck he knew the statistics and teen couples who had kids usually did not stay together and he and Harry could barely look at each other.

He texted Harry as soon as he got out of the shower: _I love you okay?_

\--

His mom was telling him some story about what had happened at the editing company she worked for about some book some woman had written and Niall really didn’t care bits and pieces kept going in and out. He was paralyzed sitting there stomach clenching and unclenching kept thinking about Harry just a few houses away in the same position hoped that Gemma was at least helping him since she’d gone with him for the first ultrasound first everything. Niall knew it wasn’t fair for him to be a bit angry but god he wished he was there to see that to see the little blur on the little screen to know that he’d made that even if he was shaking.

“Niall.” His mom said reaching over and touching his hand snapping him back to reality. He looked at her and she raised an eyebrow at him, “what’s wrong? You’ve been off all night.”

And then it just came right out of his mouth like water drowning them all. “I got someone pregnant.”

His mother’s hand was still on top of his so he felt the exact moment when she froze and he heard the clattering of his dad’s fork on the ceramic plate. Niall was so close to having a heart attack it was ridiculous. Unshed tears burned in the back of his eyes because he was so fucking scared and if he knew one thing it was that he and Harry had screwed up big time.

“What?” His mom finally asked voice coming out breathless like Niall’s usually did when he didn’t believe something. “What did you just say?”

“I got someone pregnant.” He couldn’t say the name just knew that shit would fucking hit the fan if he said the name if he told them the gender if they knew it was a boy. He wondered if his mom would kick him out.

“Niall, honey,” his mom began, “who did you get pregnant?” He didn’t answer. Felt his heart seizing up inside of him. “Who did you get pregnant?” She repeated.

“Answer your mother.” His father said hitting the table making Niall jump. Niall’s head snapped to the right quick and he glowered at this man at this fucking charlatan claiming to be a dad claiming to be anything to Niall.

“Shut up. This isn’t about you.” He hissed because it wasn’t because he had nothing to do with it just because his mother trusted him didn’t mean Niall did. His father looked shocked but Niall’s mom didn’t give him a time to react just grabbed Niall’s arm.

“Tell me.” She said and Niall just couldn’t get the name out knew that it would ruin everything. “Niall, tell me. I want to help you.”

And Niall kept thinking of the ultrasound picture in his wallet and this curly haired boy who made him weak and everything was just crazy inside of him. But before Niall could open his mouth there was a loud ridiculous knocking at his door. They all jumped. Niall’s mother took off of her seat to go to the door and Niall followed felt himself shaking still from his confession. His mother opened the door and in stormed in Anne- Harry’s mother, Gemma, and Harry himself. Harry who was red in the face and in tears.

“Anne, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Niall heard his mother ask but he could feel himself floating away knew that everything was going to come out right then.

“Your son,” she hissed pointing at Niall, “got Harry pregnant.”

And there it was. His mother didn’t say a word. Niall glanced over at Harry who was crying, wiping the tears out of his eyes but they just kept coming and Gemma with her arms wrapped around him and shit.

“Excuse me?” His mom finally said soft like she just couldn’t believe it. Anne sighed ran a hand through her hair,

“Harry’s pregnant… and Niall did it.” Did it. Niall felt like he was a criminal like he was being accused of murder or something like that. Niall’s mom turned to him,

“Darling,” she said, “is this true?”

Niall looked over at Harry again and how fucking wrecked and beautiful he looked and Niall loved him so much and he thought about how fuck it whether Harry wanted the baby or not Harry would always be the one for him the boy that he had worked for, the boy who he used to stay up with and talk shit with, the boy with the golden heart and who had his whole life planned out. And Niall had just fucked everything up but Niall loved him with everything that he had and it made him sick to his stomach and he loved this baby even if it wouldn’t be around for long and yeah he was scared but.

“Yeah.” Niall said. “It’s true.”

His mother opened and closed her mouth, looked over at Harry and his family, looked back at Niall. When the silence stretched on for too long she sighed,

“Do you want some tea, Anne?”

\--

They were all seated in the living room. Harry, Niall, and Gemma on one couch, Niall’s mother and father on the other and Harry’s mom on the smaller one. She kept sipping on her tea nervously. Harry had calmed down and he was gripping Niall’s hand their fingers intertwined like vines and Niall loved him so.

“So, Harry,” Niall’s mom said, “how long have you known?”

“Not long.” Harry confessed. “A couple days but the doctor says I’m six weeks along.”

“Who went with you? To the doctor.” His mom clarified.

“Gemma.”

“And do you know what you’re going to do with the baby yet?”

Harry didn’t say anything for a little bit just stared down at his lap. Niall squeezed his hand a little to tell him it was okay but he didn’t even know. “I’m gonna keep it.” Harry said softly. Niall felt his pulse quicken.

“What?” His mom asked because she hadn’t heard him.

“I’m going to have it and I’m going to raise it. I want the baby.” Harry repeated. Niall watched as Gemma rubbed his back softly.

“Oh.” His mom said sighing loudly. “And a-are you sure it’s Niall’s?”

Anne snorted.

“Yes I’m positive.” Harry said.

“But if you want we can take a paternity test.” Anne hissed. His mom glared at her,

“They’re kids, Anne. I need to make sure all the bases are covered before we go any further we need to figure out how things are going to work.”

Anne stayed silent but finally nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay good. Now, boys,” she said looking over at them, “this is a big deal. This isn’t a toy this is a real life baby who will be here in a couple of months and I need you guys to be committed. Nobody is skipping out on this kid or each other I’m not saying you guys have to be in love but parenting is a partnership, got it?” She asked looking at both of them. Niall wondered why she didn’t give his father that speech his father who hadn’t spoken once.

“And Harry,” Anne began, “having a kid in high school isn’t something that’s good for everybody. You can always give it up for adoption.”

“No.” Harry said shaking his head. “I want it I promise. I’ve already quit cheerleading and I know school will be difficult but… I don’t care. It’s mine.” Harry said staring down his stomach. He was still oh so very skinny even though Niall had read this was when they started to show.

“Okay.” Anne said soft leaning back into the chair. Niall kept thinking about the fact that hey this wasn’t a what-if thing anymore this baby was going to be there and Niall was going to have to hold it and love it and teach it things and be there for it and yeah. He could do that. Maybe. Hopefully.

\--

2nd Month

The thing about his mother knowing Harry was pregnant was that she knew Niall liked boys now. After Harry and his family had gone home his father had promptly left the house and it’d been a week since the whole confession thing and Niall didn’t even know how to make things right. His friends obviously noticed he was being weird but he didn’t know how to act now that Harry was going to start showing soon and Niall had to be by his side. And every night before he’d go to sleep he’d pull the ultrasound picture out of his wallet and stare it and think about it.

He and Harry were sitting in Harry’s room one night, Harry laying on the bed and Niall on the chair like they always were.

“Are you going to tell your friends?” Harry asked him.

“Yeah.” Niall said. “Eventually. Are you?”

“My friends already know I’m gay all I have to tell them is I’m pregnant. They’re already mad at me for quitting cheer.”

“Was that hard for you?”

“What?”

“Quitting cheer.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a bit and then, “yeah. When I quit I knew I had made up my mind about the baby but cheer had been my thing since I was a kid you know? And I was supposed to go to college for it but at the same time I kept thinking about this baby and how much I wanted it. I knew that if I aborted it I’d regret it for the rest of my life but cheer… that was always there for me.”

“You’re real brave you know that?”

Harry snorted, “I’m just a stupid pregnant kid. I’m not that brave.”

“You are.” Niall hissed leaning over and grabbing Harry’s hand. “You’re really fucking brave okay? And this baby is going to be the best baby trust me.”

Harry smiled at him soft eyes shiny and then he leaned over and pressed a soft chaste kiss on Niall’s lips which had Niall reeling. He pulled back, “thanks. For being here… for not skipping out on me.”

“I won’t. I won’t be that guy okay?”

“Yeah,” Harry said, “okay.”

\--

Niall had just gotten out of the locker room shower when he saw all his friends, Liam, Louis, and Zayn sitting on the bench obviously waiting for him. He jumped. “Uh… hi?”

“You’re hiding something.” Louis said cutting straight to the chase. Niall blinked,

“Uhm what?”

“Are you on drugs?” Liam asked him.

“Are you quitting the soccer team?” Zayn added.

“What? No what the hell?”

“You’ve been distant these past two weeks and it’s freaking all of us out. You’re never distant and it’s obvious something is wrong but none of us know how to fix it because you aren’t telling us anything.” Louis said staring at him. Niall felt a strange sense of déjà vu from when he was telling his mom about Harry’s pregnancy and how scared he had been but this was his friends his best friends and he did not fucking know how to tell them something like that.

“See?” Zayn said. “There you go again zoning out.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Niall muttered going over to his locker to slip on his clothes.

“You’re lying you can’t even look us in the eye.” Liam said. Niall thought about it for a second the kind of people Louis, Liam, and Zayn were and he thought about their friendship how they’d been around for each other since they were kids. How they had egged the house of the racist assholes who fucked around with Zayn seventh grade year, how Louis had been Niall’s first kiss because they didn’t want to go to high school completely clueless, and how they all got one week expulsion for fighting the kids who made fun of Liam.

They were his best friends.

“I knocked someone up.” He blurted.

The boys didn’t say anything for a while then,

“What the hell?” It was Louis. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” Niall said pulling his pants on and then his shirt not even bothering to look up. He didn’t wanna see the look on their faces.

“Who?” Zayn asked. “Cher?”

“No.” Niall said.

“Leigh-Anne?” Liam asked

“Jade?”

“Harry Styles.” Niall said and then slammed his locker door closed and turned to his friends. “Do any of you have a problem with that?” That was the first time Niall had seen Louis absolutely speechless.

“You’re gay?” Zayn asked staring at him.

“Bisexual actually.” Niall muttered but he didn’t think it really mattered to his friends because at the end of the day he’d knocked up a boy and he was in love with a boy and that was it.

“You got Harry Styles pregnant?” Louis finally asked.

“Yeah.” Niall swallowed looking down at his converse. The air was tense and Niall didn’t know if his friends were grossed out or what but he really really fucking hoped they didn’t talk shit about Harry and who he was because when it came to Harry all bets were off.

“You’re gonna be a dad?” Liam asked softly touching Niall’s shoulder. Niall looked up at all three of his friends all of them were staring at him eyes furrowed but Niall didn’t see disgust there but acceptance and it was just the best thing he had ever seen and he sighed in relief and collapsed into Liam’s arms hugging him tightly.

\--

When Niall walked into Harry’s house he heard retching loud retching coming from upstairs.

“Harry!” Niall shouted quickly bounding up the stairs. Harry had missed school that day and it was an understatement to say he was scared. The whole day at school he’d been shitting his pants didn’t know what to do and when he told Louis, Zayn, and Liam he was skipping out they all patted him on the back and told him to do what he had to do.

When he barged into the bathroom he found Harry’s head resting on the rim of the toilet eyes closed looking deathly pale. Niall swallowed and quickly went over to him leaning down so that he was eye level.

“Hey,” Niall said softly tucking Harry’s too long hair behind his ears, “you alright?”

“Yeah.” Harry said voice hoarse. “I’m fucking peachy.”

“Sorry that was a stupid question. Have you been throwing up all morning?”

“Yeah on and off. My head kills.”

“Did you take your vitamins?”

Harry nodded eyes still closed. “I’m so tired. I wanna sleep but every time I try to I can’t.”

“Let’s get you to the room okay?” Niall said soft hoisting Harry to his feet. Harry leaned on Niall like he was Bambi and he couldn’t walk alone.

“You need to go to school.” He said. “Because you need to get an education and take care of the baby.”

“I am. I just get worried about you a lot.”

“Don’t. Because when you keep worrying about me you won’t worry about you and you need to worry about you. You need to do well in school, Niall Horan.” Harry said slipping under the sheets in his bed. Harry’s room was usually incredibly neat but Niall could see the buildup of clothes being carelessly thrown, bowls of food on his bedside table.

“I will I promise. But for now I’m going to clean your room and take care of you.”

“You take care of me too much.” Harry said finally opening his eyes and looking at him taking Niall’s breath away.

“Well… I really like you and I want our baby to be safe so.”

Harry smiled at him dimples making craters on his face. “I know it doesn’t seem like it but I really like you too.”

\--

It was Saturday afternoon after soccer practice when Niall came over to Harry’s with a bag of Five Guys. Harry was in his room doing some physics homework and when Niall opened the door he frowned.

“What the hell is that smell?”

“Five Guys.” Niall said shaking the bag at Harry. “I brought you some.”

“First of all,” Harry began, “I’m pregnant, Five Guys is probably not the best thing to bring me and second of all… it smells really fucking gross.”

“You don’t want it?” Niall asked looking down at the bag. When they used to hang out before Harry got pregnant Harry would devour Five Guys practically ran Niall out of all the money he had with all his wants and needs and now he looked like he was going to bite Niall’s head off.

“No I don’t want it. It makes me wanna throw up.” Harry muttered and Niall noticed he looked a little green. “My doctor says by the eighth week I’ll hate certain smells and I guess this is what he meant.”

“Maybe you should’ve told me that.” Niall muttered not bothering to come into the room any further. He didn’t want Harry barfing all over himself or anything.

“And maybe you should’ve been more considerate.” Harry snapped back.

“I’m not considerate?” Niall asked scoffing in disbelief. “Are you being serious right now?”

Harry shook his head and rubbed his temples, “look, Niall I don’t want to fight with you okay? Just take that bag out of my room and go home… we’ll talk later or whatever.”

Niall ate the Five Guys all by himself in his car.

\--

3rd- 4th Month

It was September third meaning it was time for the second checkup and needless to say Niall was a little scared. Harry had scheduled it on a Sunday and Niall found him, Harry, Harry’s mother and sister, and Niall’s mom all stuffed into one car going to the clinic. Harry was starting to show not ridiculously enough that someone could tell he was pregnant but enough that someone could ask him about weight gain. He had his head resting on Niall’s shoulder and his eyes closed and Niall’s leg kept going up and down. He still had the one ultrasound picture in his wallet and he wasn’t sure he was ever going to take it out.

His mom kept glancing at him in the rearview mirror and smiling at him and Niall had never felt so grateful in his life to have a support system with him through something like this and he was glad Harry had one too that he wasn’t as alone as he originally thought he would be.

The clinic was filled with pregnant teenagers and Niall felt slightly intimidated even though he didn’t know any of them. Miami was a big town after all. Harry kept dozing off on his shoulder rand Niall had the urge to reach over and touch his pregnant belly but he couldn’t and he didn’t. He just flipped through pregnancy pamphlets that showed him plenty of pictures of pregnant woman that he did not want to see at all.

When they finally called Harry’s name Niall felt all the blood rushing to his head felt the quaking of his heart.

Their doctor was Dr. Ingrid who had a smile the size of Texas and who didn’t seem to mind that Harry had practically brought everyone to hear the heartbeat.

“Is this the other daddy?” Dr. Ingrid asked looking at Niall who was clutching Harry’s hand, Harry who was laying down like in Niall’s visions with his shirt pushed up a little.

“Yeah this is him.” Harry said looking up at him and smiling and Niall thought: damn that boy is beautiful.

The doctor rubbed some blue-green jelly on Harry’s stomach and then wheeled over the monitor. The moms were watching aptly and so was Gemma. Niall although scared was a bit excited to hear his baby and to get this to have that, his father probably never ever came with his mom to one of these to see Niall or Greg Niall’s older brother and Niall would never ever be him.

When the doctor started rubbing the wand as she called it on Harry’s stomach all that was heard at first was a whooshing sound as she moved the wand this way and that.

“Looks like the little one is growing perfectly, its genitals are developing nicely but it’ll take a couple more weeks to determine if it’s a boy or a girl.” Niall stared at the screen barely listening to what the doctor was saying. All he could see was a tadpole like shadow on the screen moving this way and that and he felt his heart pumping because he and Harry had made that they’d fucking done it. “You ready to hear the heartbeat, guys?” Dr. Ingrid asked.

“Yes.” Harry rushed out. “Please.”

Dr. Ingrid laughed softly, “alright. It’s not much yet but you’ll hear it.” She said and then she pressed a button and there it was this tiny little thump-thump like a little drum filling up the room. Niall felt hot burning in the back of his eyes and he glanced down at Harry who was already wiping away tears.

“Do you hear that?” Harry asked softly looking up at him and Niall couldn’t help leaning down and pressing a kiss to Harry’s lips and holding it there, hands squeezing Harry’s tightly. When he pulled away Harry was crying and he rested their foreheads together needed Harry to understand and feel that he was here to stay that he wasn’t going anywhere and Niall was going to give this baby the best life he could.

“I love you I love you I love you.” He whispered and Harry let out a wet sob.

\--

When Niall got home he tucked the new ultrasound picture in the sides of his mirror. The whole ride home he’d spent comparing the two pictures, the one where the baby was just a blob and now to this one where it kind of looked like a tadpole. Niall wondered if it was going to be a little boy he was going to teach how to play soccer or if it was a little girl he was going to teach how to play soccer. He thought about walking around the supermarket holding his little girl or his little boy’s hand. He thought about a little boy with Harry’s eyes and his hair or a little girl with Harry’s hair and his eyes, he thought about everything. He wondered if he and Harry would last or if this thing between them was pregnancy induced.

He had sent a picture to his friends who had all called him and screamed congratulations in his ear like they didn’t know and Louis asked him who was going to be godfather. Niall had forgotten that was something he even had to do because things like that seemed so out there like something only adults did.

\--

“I’m a boy.” Harry pouted when Niall got to his house three days after the other ultrasound picture. They had both made it through one full day of school and Niall thought maybe that was something to celebrate considering either Harry didn’t come at all or Niall left midway through to go check on Harry.

“Yeah I know.” Niall said with a short laugh and Harry rolled his eyes,

“No listen. I’m a boy and my fucking chest is growing.”

Niall blinked.

“What?”

“I have sore nipples and they are swollen. It’s so embarrassing.” Harry said blushing. Niall couldn’t help the way his eyes went down to Harry’s chest and then quickly back up to his face.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Wanna see?”

“Uh… wouldn’t you feel weird?”

“You’ve seen me naked.” Harry said and then pushed his shirt up and oh. Niall blushed bright red when he realized Harry was right. They weren’t huge or anything but they were there… boobs.

“Did you talk to Dr. Ingrid about this?” Niall asked when Harry put his shirt back down.

“Yeah… she said this is normal with male pregnancies.”

“Do they hurt?” Niall asked not knowing what else to ask. He didn’t have much experience with pregnancy considering the last baby he’d been around was Theo, his nephew, and that was about a year ago.

“A little. She said it’s because I’ll eventually have to breastfeed or whatever.” Harry sighed staring up at the ceiling. Niall didn’t say anything after that because he didn’t know what to say. “Do you think they’ll start talking shit about me in school once they see what’s wrong? Everybody’s asking me why I quit cheer and I can’t just tell them all I’m pregnant you know because that’s none of their business.”

“It’s high school.” Niall said. “They’ll talk shit.”

“Will you defend me?” Harry asked him with a soft smile making Niall’s heart pound.

“Of course.” Niall said and Harry smiled at him.

“Thank you. You’re my best friend… I love you.” And then he put his hand out and Niall slipped his into it, leaned closer, and then kissed Harry’s knuckles softly. They stayed like that until Harry fell asleep.

\--

“You’re going to have to get a job.” His mom said to him a week later. He was in his room trying to figure out a chemistry problem when she came in and leaned on his doorway. Niall turned to her and sighed, “I know but… school is killing me and I have soccer and-,”

“Niall,” his mom interrupted putting her hand up, “when Harry decided to keep the baby you got a responsibility. You need to prioritize. Soccer isn’t what’s most important anymore, you need to get a job and go to school so that when this baby is born you guys aren’t completely clueless. You’re having a baby.” She said crossing her arms and looking at him. He sighed,

“What about college?”

“What about it?” His mom asked.

“Do I go? Or do I stay?” Niall knew college wasn’t in the plans yet not with him being a junior but before the baby he’d always planned on going like it was a given but now he didn’t know anything.

“That’s something you and Harry have to talk about. For now just get a job.”

\--

On Harry’s fourth month of pregnancy Niall got a job at Costco. Niall wasn’t spoiled or anything but he’d never really had a reason to work ever in his life considering it was just him and his mom most of the time after Greg moved out years ago but now he had a job and he was saving up for the baby and Harry was getting bigger and meaner day by day.

“We get to learn the baby’s sex next Saturday.” Harry told him after Niall had come home from work. He was actually on Harry’s bed this time face down with Harry sitting cross legged looking down at him. Niall was tired and he had a group project due on Monday.

“What time?” Niall asked looking at him.

“Ten.” Harry said. Niall didn’t say anything for a little bit and then,

“I have soccer practice at ten. You know that… we have a game the next day.”

Harry snorted, “You’re joking right?”

“No I’m not. I’ve had Saturday morning practices since freshman year.”

“Well you didn’t have a pregnant boyfriend freshman year so I think that’s different.”

Niall didn’t even bother acknowledging the fact that Harry had called himself Niall’s boyfriend Niall just glanced at him and raised an eyebrow, “couldn’t you have scheduled some other time?”

Harry glared down at him, “no sorry but you know what since you care about soccer more than you care about our fucking baby I don’t want you there.” Harry said pushing himself off the bed until he was standing arms crossed in front of him.

“I didn’t say that chill out.” Niall groaned sitting up. He was so fucking tired and he was a bit annoyed that Harry had scheduled the appointment the same day as practice but it wasn’t like he was going to not come. It was his baby. “I’m coming okay? I just… soccer is my thing and you know that and I thought I could keep it all while keeping the baby too but I guess not.”

“You cannot put a sport and our baby in the same category, Niall Horan.” Harry said frowning at him. Niall nodded slowly,

“I know and I’m sorry okay? That was shitty of me don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” Harry pouted and Niall laughed softly grabbing his hand and pulling him down softly so Niall could kiss him.

“You were mad. But because you’re my pregnant boyfriend you’re allowed.” Niall said and Harry poked him on the head.

“Shut up.”

\--

“You’re missing practice? Right before our big fucking game?” Coach Cowell screamed in his face. Harry was waiting for him in the car and the whole soccer team was watching this go down. Niall clenched his jaw.

“Yeah.”

Coach Cowell snorted, “Are you kidding me? Do you know how big this game is?”

“Yes.”

“Give me one valid reason.”

Niall almost spit in his face. “I’m not going to be at practice I don’t need to give you a reason.”

“You’re team captain… you carry this fucking team.”

“That’s the reason why I have a co-captain, sir.”

“If you miss this practice you will be benched for three games of the season.” Coach Cowell said staring him down. Niall wanted to scream and tell him he couldn’t do that but he knew very well that Coach Cowell could and he would do that.

“Okay.” Niall said and then walked off the field.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked him when he got to the car. Niall didn’t bother replying.

\--

“Are you guys ready to know the sex?” Dr. Ingrid asked after she’d let them listen to the heartbeat again. This time it was only Harry and Niall considering the moms and Harry’s sister had to work. Niall still couldn’t get over hearing the heartbeat.

“Yeah.” They both said in unison. The doctor turned to them and smiled,

“You’re having a little girl.” Niall grinned and then turned to Harry who too was smiling wide like he just couldn’t believe it.  

“Really?” Harry asked breathlessly and the doctor nodded,

“Yes.”

\--

When they told the moms they cried.

\--

5th \- 6th month

Niall was in math class when he heard it.

“Harry Styles is pregnant.” It was a low whisper from one of the girls on the cheer squad that Niall had never bothered to learn the name of.

“Really?” The other asked.

“Yeah but nobody knows who the dad is. That’s why he quit apparently.”

“Oh my goodness I wonder who knocked him up.”

Niall wanted to turn around, grin, and say it was him but he was just frozen writing a math problem that he didn’t even understand. The girls drifted away from that conversation but it was still there ingrained inside of Niall’s head.

\--

It was lunch time when it was obvious things were changing. When Harry walked into the cafeteria everybody and Niall meant everybody turned to look at him. There was a small bump under his button up and he had his hair in a soft bun. It was silent as he walked over to the cheerleaders table but instead of finding a seat and sitting down there was no seat. Niall watched as Harry swallowed and looked over at Cher and Perrie who didn’t even look him in the eye the cowards, watched as Harry frowned and blushed out of embarrassment.

Niall knew Zayn, Louis, and Liam were watching him but he didn’t know what to fucking do. Niall watched as Harry backed away from the table slowly, turned, and walked towards one of the small empty circular tables that nobody actually sat in. Zayn poked him in the ribs hard and Niall looked over at him.

“Go.” He hissed.

Niall looked back over at Harry who had his head down and who wasn’t even eating. Niall could see the small tremors on his shoulders and Niall felt himself break into two pieces. He stood up abruptly causing everybody’s attention to turn from Harry to him. He grabbed his tray and he walked towards Harry’s table slowly then slid in right across from him.

When Harry looked up Niall smiled at him didn’t know how to convey, ‘I’m here for you’ just through his eyes but he tried. Harry smiled back and then Liam, Louis, and Zayn slid right in next to him. Harry laughed softly,

“You guys didn’t have to do this.”

“Yeah we know.” Louis replied shrugging. “But you have my goddaughter in there so we look out for you.”

“Niall’s our brother and Niall loves you so you’re family now. And family protects family.” Liam said and smiled when Sophia his girlfriend slid into the table too.

“Thank you.” He said to them looking down at his plate. “Really.”

\--

“Niall,” Harry said shaking him awake. Niall blinked and turned to Harry and raised an eyebrow,

“What?” He groaned.

“The baby is moving.” He said and Niall almost gave himself whiplash sitting up so fast.

“What?”

“I felt it come touch it. It feels weird.” Harry said but he was smiling. He already had his shirt lifted up showing his swollen belly and Niall leaned in and touched it, felt the soft swell of Harry’s stomach but nothing else. “Just wait for it.” Harry said softly guiding his hand until it was right next to the waistband of Harry’s pants.

And then Niall felt it. He almost pulled away and screamed. But there it was like the baby was kicking specifically for him.

“Oh my god.” Niall said softly looking up at Harry.

“Dr. Ingrid says it’s good if you talk to it. So it can recognize you as daddy.” Harry said and Niall swallowed suddenly feeling super self-conscious to just talk to Harry’s stomach but he knew that it was more than that now. It wasn’t just a stomach it had Niall’s baby in it too.

“Hey.” Niall said softly leaning in so close that the tip of his name was touching Harry’s stomach right above his belly button right on his linea negra. “My name is Niall but you can call me dad or daddy if you want. Uhm,” Niall looked up at Harry who nodded for him to continue, “I really love you, baby and I’m really excited to see you. Like yeah everything’s a bit scary right now but that’s okay because you’re coming soon and I really can’t wait to see you. I read somewhere online that babies born to younger parents are usually really small and I don’t know I’m just really excited to see your tiny toes and your tiny little fists and… I hope you look like your dad not me dad the one who’s carrying you dad because he’s so gorgeous. He has the nicest curliest hair and these green eyes and I just… you’re everything to me right now, baby. The moon and the stars and all that and you make everything worth it you know? So yeah I love you, I hope to see you in a couple of months safe and sound.”

Niall looked up at Harry who was wiping some stray tears away.

“Was that good?” Niall asked him and Harry nodded quickly,

“Yeah,” he said, “that was perfect.”

\--

Decembers in Florida just meant colder weather no snow or anything like that but they always bought a Christmas tree. And Harry was pretty big now and no matter how much he tried to deny it he was waddling. Louis tended to tease him about it. On December fifteenth they found out that the baby’s due date was March 7th. 

“What should we name her?” Niall asked Harry that same afternoon. They were finally in Niall’s room because Harry was getting his whole room repainted a soft pink and yellow to welcome the baby. Niall had told him he didn’t have to do all that but Harry didn’t seem to care.

“I don’t know. I’ve been looking but the only one I really like is Noelle. You?”

“I like Halle.” Niall replied with a shrug. Harry hummed and then,

“How about Halle Noelle? That’s pretty right?”

“Yeah,” Niall said thinking of his little Halle Noelle toddling around and the image was just so perfect, “it’s amazing.”

\--

Christmas was spent with the whole family and telling Greg who had flown down with Denise and Theo about Harry’s condition. While he and Harry’s family were playing a loud game of charades Greg grabbed his bicep and pulled him outside to their backyard.

“Are you ready for this?” Was the first thing Greg asked looking at him. Niall shrugged,

“Yeah. I have to be.”

“This is a baby, Niall a real life baby. And they’re scary and they cry a lot and you’re in high school. You graduate next fucking year how are you going to do it?”

“Harry and I are going to get through it, Greg.”

“You sure?”

“I’m positive.”

“Because you know this isn’t the hard part right? This is the easy part the hard part is when she actually comes out and you’re actually a father that’s when things get scary. Because you can’t fuck up, Niall you can’t be-,” Greg ran a hand through his hair, “you can’t be our so called dad. You have to be fucking great for this kid do you understand.”

Niall nodded slowly, “yeah, Greg I understand.”

“Good cause I will fuck you up if you fuck her up.”

\--

7th\- 8th month

“So how will he be having her?” Niall asked once they were all at the clinic again. Harry was huge and he rarely ever moved and he only came to school when he absolutely had too. He had swollen ankles and he always complained about being fat even though Niall thought he looked gorgeous but hey wasn’t his body so what did he know? The moms were there too because obviously the meeting was important to figure things out, the due date was in two months and Niall was stressing. He had school and he had work and he had promptly quit soccer when he realized yeah that wasn’t happening.

“There is only one way.”

“Please don’t say through his butt.” Niall said and Harry yelped out a short laugh and then covered his hands with his mouth.

“Sorry about my boyfriend.”

Dr. Ingrid smiled, “no worries and nope not through his butt. He will have a caesarean section which will be safer for both Harry and the baby.”

“Good good.” Niall said.

“Also the baby is actually sucking her thumb now and she can hear everything. Loud noises might disturb her so try to be as quiet as possible. Also around now would be a great time to get a pediatrician for when the baby is born. Other than that things are just smooth sailing right now alright?”

“Alright.” They all said. The doctor gave them some pediatrician recommendations and then they were on their way. Harry was full blow waddling now and Niall had to hold his hand so that he didn’t go toppling over. He kept complaining about backaches and nobody told him to shut up because he was pregnant and he was allowed to cry and bitch and moan.

\--

“I made a playlist for the baby.” Harry told him two days later after school. Harry hadn’t come again and Niall was getting a bit worried about Harry’s education and what he was going to do. Niall knew that Harry was smart but he couldn’t pass school if he wasn’t showing up to school.

“You need to start coming to school.” Niall told him instead of asking about the playlist. Harry blinked and then looked up at him,

“What?”

“School remember it?”

“Uh yeah but I’m also pregnant as fuck with your child and I can barely fucking move so tell me again how going to school would help me right now?”

“So you can at least graduate high school? Do you wanna repeat junior year?”

“I’m not repeating junior year and I will graduate.”

“It’s been two weeks and you’ve only showed up once.”

“Why don’t you try being fucking pregnant and we’ll see how great you do going to school!” Harry screamed suddenly. Niall frowned and clenched his jaw.

“You need to go back!”

“Why don’t you worry about yourself? Do you wanna know how it feels to not even be able to get off the bed without some help because there is a person inside of you, do you know how it feels to be that one pregnant teenage boy at school, do you know how anything about this feels? My body has been changing rapidly without me even realizing it and now you’re telling me to go to school? Get the fuck out of here with that self-righteous pompous ass bullshit!” Harry screamed and Niall ducked when he saw the burned CD being chucked at his head. He swallowed and looked back up.

“Harry,” Niall said softly but Harry just shoved him out of the door roughly and angrily.

“Go home and go away.” And then he slammed the door in Niall’s face.

\--

“Mom thinks I should get a doula.” Harry told him two days after their fight. He was in Niall’s room and he looked pale and Niall wanted to apologize but he didn’t know how especially since he wasn’t sorry for wanting Harry to get a good education and to have a good life.

“A what-a?” Niall asked and Harry sighed sitting down on Harry’s bed,

“A doula. It’s like a birth coach.”

“Why do you need a birth coach?” Niall asked him.

“So I have someone to ask questions too and feel comfortable with.”

“Isn’t that what Dr. Ingrid is for?”

Harry frowned, “I didn’t come here to ask for permission, Niall.”

Niall clenched his jaw, “I know that, H I’m just thinking about the amount of money this doula of yours might cost. We need to go buy things for the baby if you forgot.”

“I didn’t.” Harry snapped crossing his arms over his chest. “And they don’t cost a lot okay and mom can help. I just want someone I can talk to that isn’t Dr. Ingrid or you.”

“Why don’t you wanna talk to me?” Niall asked him.

“Because right now I wanna fucking punch your face in.” Harry snapped and Niall shut up. They both stayed silent for a little while, Harry breathing slowly and Niall staring at his ceiling. He finally moved a little and grabbed Harry’s hand,

“Hey, look,” he said, “I’m sorry alright for making you mad not for the going back to school thing. I want you to get your education Harry and I want you to feel okay and protected and I don’t wanna apologize for wanting that but I know how stressed you are and I shouldn’t be putting more stress on you and I apologize for that. I wanna be there for you and Halle and I want you to come to me for anything and it’s okay to wanna punch my fucking face in sometimes because sometimes I get annoying but don’t shut me out okay? Don’t do that.”

Harry leaned in so that his head was on Niall’s chest and he sobbed softly, “I just… I think that you’re going to up and leave every two minutes and I know that sounds fucking horrible but I just… I get scared all the time. I get scared because I don’t want the baby to grow up with one dad I don’t want this baby to be scarred and when we fight I get super defensive because I don’t want you to see how much this is killing me.”

“Hey hey hey,” Niall said kissing his forehead and inhaling his new peach shampoo, “I love you okay and if I argue with you it’s because I care about you and Halle nothing else. I’m not leaving. And if you want to get this freakin’ birth coach we’ll get this freakin’ birth coach alright?”

\--

Birth

It was March 2nd when Niall got the call that Harry was most definitely in labor. Niall barely had time to brush his teeth before he was pulling on some pants, waking up his mother, and following Anne, Gemma, and Harry’s car to the hospital. It was three in the morning and he was scared more scared than he’d been since Harry had told him he was pregnant way back in August and now there was going to be a little baby in a couple of hours that was perfectly his and Harry’s.

The hospital apparently was awaiting Harry because as soon as they parked the car he was being loaded into a wheelchair with Niall right next to him. He was sobbing tears streaming down his face and he’d scream every two seconds. Niall was shitting his pants.

They loaded Harry into a delivery room where the doula that Harry had hired, Gina, was already waiting.

“This hurts oh my god it hurts so bad.” Harry groaned squeezing the living shit out of Niall’s hand.

“I know, sweetie I know but just listen to my voice and Niall’s voice,” Gina said glancing at Niall queuing him to start speaking,

“Uhm, babe you’re doing great.”

“They’re getting the surgery room ready for the C-section and this will be over in no time trust me.” Gina said shooting Niall a look. Niall had never liked her. Niall whispered sweet things into Harry’s ear trying to calm him down but he was fucking seventeen and all the labor he’d seen had been in movies and he didn’t know how to calm Harry down. Soon the doctors were coming back in and telling Niall they were going to take Harry into the surgery room. They gave him a face mask and some gloves and told them to follow him.

The surgery room was ready and Niall watched as they stuck an IV into Harry’s arm to numb him watched as Harry went from a screaming crying mess to complete silence. Niall admitted that he got scared. There was more talking and a lot of discussion of what was going to happen and then after what felt like hours they were finally ready to make the incision. Niall’s heart was going crazy inside of him.

More time went on, cuts were made, and they talked around him. Harry was awake but he was doped up on epidural so Niall was just there holding his hand and kissing his forehead every now and then waiting for when he heard the screaming of baby Halle.

More time passed by.

And then just like that Niall watched as the doctor lifted a bloody child out of his boyfriend. Niall held his breath, the doctor tapped the baby, and then she screamed.

He had never been so happy in his life.

“My baby,” Harry muttered, “give me my baby.”

And the doctors did going over and resting the baby right on Harry’s chest little baby Halle who weighed four pounds and even bloody and crying was the most perfect thing Niall had ever seen in his life.


End file.
